The Core Lives!

After many rumors concerning the possible demise of The Core at the hands of the devilish Anti-Core maniacs, I am happy to say that The Core is indeed still active and its place at the center of D-Hall has remained undisturbed since the Core Uprising of 2005, when Orlando Montgomery and his band of Caped Coresaders stormed D-Hall and breached the outermost security system before gaining access to the Inner Loop where Corey O'Coreman (fake name) single-handedly fought off Orlando's forces with a makeshift saber fashioned out of a broom handle and some three-week old cheesy mashed potatoes from the kitchen, which, by all accounts, is such a strong adhesive that during his 2-year waiting period within the confines of the Inner Loop, O'Coreman built a protective bunker which shielded himself from the radioactive photons emitted from the Core itself, which also, however led to the secret construction of the Core-proof cheesy mashed potato suit that Corey's live-in wife Coreen constructed and attempted to use to shut down the main Core reactor when Corey was sleeping but which also led to her rapid death since although the potatoes protected from the radioactive waves, they did not protect against the heat which melted her suit and vaporized her in a fraction of a second.