D-Hall's Black Hole

From a newspaper article from January 8, 2003:

Suspicions had abounded that a black hole lay at the core of D-Hall, but visual sightings from a handful of people were thwarted by clouds of memory-erasing dust and gas that hang within the outer rim of D-Hall, also known as the "kitchen".  Scientists at Justitech have discovered that the core, weighing in at 3 million times the mass of the sun, is a starved black hole because when it flares, the intensity of the X-ray emission from its vicinity is relatively weak. 

Black holes are among the most powerful but enigmatic forces in the universe. They are believed to be caused by the death of massive stars that run out of fuel and collapse inwardly, creating a body of extremely intense gravity from which nothing, not even light, can escape.

However, some scientists believe some black holes may be created by non-stellar means, by large volumes of gas that arise from uneaten mashed potatoes and collect at the center of circular buildings and then collapse, becoming things of enormous mass but relatively tiny volumes.  "We hope to use the findings of the study to explain how the core increases in intensity and interacts with its environment," stated Justin McDonough in a related press conference, "In the meantime, we've sold the story to Paramount pictures who plan to release 'The Core' in theaters very soon".

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