Why are you here?

hey kids,
Justin here - your authority on all things huge and gaseous inside circular buildings fronted by college dining halls. At the moment there's only one of these and it's referred to as D-Hall on the campus of James Madison University. Now let's get down to business. You came here for a reason and it's probably one of the following:

1. you have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge concerning the bizarre, the paranormal, or the unexplainable. Well let me direct you elsewhere because the Core is a real thing that can be explained using well-characterized properties of physics and not some hoky crap you saw on the X-files.

2. you are a friend or acquaintance of mine and you wasted time on Google trying to search for "Justin rules", "that funny kid Justin", or "that dude who kicks ass but isn't cocky", only to stumble across this blog. Well, if so, pull up a chair and have some popsicles handy because this is going to blow your socks off.

3. You hit the "Next Blog" button up on the top of this page. My recommendation to you is to keep hitting that button until you come across the blog where this guy tries to convince the readers that he's Quentin Tarantino writing to all his fans about what's happening in his life post-Kill Bill. It's fabulous. The readers either think it's a fake and voice their opinions strongly, or they totally think it's really him and defend him from the former readers with such conviction, you'd think they were getting paid. Totally ridiculawesome.

4. You seriously want to know more about the Core of D-Hall and how to stop the powers-that-be from destroying the Earth with its massive power. Read on my fellow brother-of-the-Core.

5. You seriously want to know more about the Core of D-Hall so you can aid in the Earth's destruction. To you, my enemy, I salute you and wish you luck in the battle against me and my stronghold of allies. I carry the scientists, judges, and politicians in my pocket like so many nickels and dimes. Capisco?

Signing off,
Justin